22...22...22...shuchks...

I'm now officially a year older from yesterday. I'm kinda happy that I could post my first birthday post (since I kinda screw up on my previous blog posts),I never thought that hitting 22 would be this fast. I still can't see myself as a 22-year old. I'm still jobless, my drawing still sucks (though I noticed lately that it is somehow improving), I'm still single (and wierd), and I still drool over hunky 2d characters, though not really too much than before. So after I hit on this weird dream of mine that I was blogging about reinventing myself (yes, the word that stuck to me the most) I pondered about, 'Hey, why don't I try to do it in real life then?'
Well before I hit reinvention mode, I should lists things I need changes...lots of changes.

1.Personality change

Yup. Personality. That one pesky word that my mom keeps on reminding me why she still doesn't have any child to brag about to her officemates and neighbors. Personality. What's wrong with my personality you ask? I say, nothing. Or maybe there is, because my mom have problems with it. Well yes, maybe I have a problem with it too. No need to describe further what my personality is, but I guess maybe I should be more friendly. I rarely make lots of friends, because I'm a nitpicker freak for anything related to friendship and stuffs, I don't put myself on friendly mode too much. I just hate...being too friendly. Because I realized that these past few years I garnered friendships from people that in the first place I should befriend with because they don't pass to my taste. Yeah, I'm evil, and I'm unfriendly towards people who don't deserved my friendship. But maybe these past few years (college years to be exact) I changed from a scrawny geek into a friendly wannabe, so somehow people befriended me. Some of them became *horrified pause* my suitor...and it sparked a new challenge for me to go back to my previous I-don't-care-with-nobody raison d'etre.
God I must be confused.

2. Fashion.
I don't want to call myself as jologs. Yes I hate jologs, but I despise conyos too. I hate anything that has a brand, has this stupid cliche of proclaiming each and everything as part of something. I JUST HATE ANYTHING THAT CALL THEMSELVES AS IN! There, I hate being part of the so-called norm, and I hate the self-proclaimed part of the marginal sectors (these peoples, together with jejemon, emos, what-have-you's) who thinks that their fashion sense's the best in the world.
It's a sad thing this country is succumbing into the pits of mediocrity and senselessness made by these bastards. And I'll try my best that even if I have to change my fashion sense (which is senseless also by the way, but I don't end up this country into mediocrity pit), I have to do mounts of research, and common sense. And fashion sense also.
The next thing to do is look for fashion sense somewhere...cause I have none.

3. Goals
I made this pyramid of goal months ago, and unfortunately, the base is still unaccomplished. This new day, I'll exert more effort to make my dreams more real, more achievable, and more sensible. But not that it will wallow also into ordinary and normal. Cause I hate normal, and I hate the norm.
I don't want to die not seeing any of my goals come to reality that's all.

I write too many yet I only stuck at three. I don't know if I'll have to add something, but I guess that's all the things I need to change to myself.

Okay off to accomplish them now.

Something to Cheer Me Up

Sooo...I'm currently stuck in my ass netizising my way to boredom. I loaded up our broadband for a 24-hour internet connection, and I'm here typing, reading, watching anything that tickle my fancies. What I love most with the net is the information I'm getting, and what I truly love the most among them are the blogs. What makes me a better writer, is to read other writer's works, right? And the best sources are their blogs. I don't think I have to post some of their links here, you can see at the left corner of my blog their blog links, and I'll still keep adding lots of them in the meantime.

And some of the videos I'm watching, is this Lupang Hinirang song sung by the infamous virtual diva (today), Hatsune Miku
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eh9AK7mPM7I

After this will be return of the comeback...The Killer Migraine!>,<

Let's Start Our Week with Carnage

I still can't believe what just happened last Monday, 23 August. When a guy hacked up from his job goes berserk, rode a tourist bus at Luneta, and proclaimed the passengers as his hostages. The hostage drama lasted for almost 11 hours, and the ending? A terrible not-very-happy ending. Nine people dead, together with the hostage-taker, and another imprint in the Philippines as a reputable place for stupidity and violence.

The height of all this is the government keep on insisting that it's an isolated case. Isolated case! The hostages are foreigners, HongKong nationals who just wanted to have fun and to enjoy our country, none of them have any idea that their unforgettable enjoyable experience will be replaced by an unforgettable harrowing experience. China and HongKong were all terrible upset, and they still say it's only an isolated case? China and Hong Kong's relation with our country is affected, our Tourism and Economy (as if these two hasn't suffered enough blows),the Philippines had became the laughingstock for the whole world to see, Hong Kong citizens are firing their Filipino maids, and they're picketing in front of our consul, AND ALL OF THESE ARE STILL ISOLATED CASES?

I wonder where's Tsip Tsao in this dark moment in their history. And I bet my ass he has his last laugh with what's currently happening in our country.

Off to Freelancing Start

I'm desperate. Being jobless for eight months is slowly deteriorating my remaining sane brain cells for future stressful moments use. Being a bummer wasting her time away is NEVER EVER HEALTHY. I do admit that I love lazing around,taking "power naps" with a span of two hours and sleeping at ten hours maximum everyday, and loving it. But that was before, when I go to school and during my very short job stint.

But this time, it's different. Realization just hit me these past few months being jobless that being lazy really cannot help you, A LOT. And it's taking its toll on my remaining sanity, even though by nature I'm a weird person with a rather unstabilized way of thinking. These past few months I'm starting to have anxiety disorder symptoms (crying by myself, overthinking, self-pitying all the shit), and I'm having these feelings that if I don't find a job this coming week, I'll be of to the nearest fucked-up Philippine mental institution. I'm crazy, I'm weird, but I'm still sane enough to know that the last thing you like to happen in your life is to be put to jail or to be put in a mental hospital in the Philippines, and trust me, being poor in this country is better than being stuck in those two "institutions."

Call me a weirdo, but being stressed is what I love. I do. I may had been a slacker posing as a smart-ass during my college days, but nothing makes me happy than being stressed by a looming deadline, angry teachers murdering your term papers, and praying every minute before the exams that you pass it better that most of the students. I'm crazy over stress and deadlines, I hate them when they make me dizzy and stupid but I love them because they are the ones that are reminding me that no matter how my mom accuses me of being a prospective Autistic patient, I could still be a mentally capable useful person for my society.

That's why I'm missing stress and deadlines so much, and I'm missing them SO MUCH THAT IN A FEW WEEKS AND IF I STILL DON'T HAVE A JOB I'LL BE TAKING SUICIDE AS THE LAST OPTION TO STOP THIS MONOTONOUS LIFE.

Kidding, of course I'll not go suicidal mode, but BEING JOBLESS IS MAKING ME CRAZY!!!!

I'm already branded as crazy, but I don't want to further emphasize on it. Maybe I'm starting to get desperate. Desperate, yes. And somehow, drawing my webcomics and blogging is helping somehow to loosen myself a bit.

This shouldn't go on. I must do something to get that elusive job.So I really need to survive on this freelancing gig. I never expected this to be so hard, trying to make a name in this industry is already a pain, more if the actual prospective job came. But being a person who loves stress and deadline, freelancing is definitely for me. I need to pimp my online profiles here and there, and try to get prospective clients from personal friends, if there are any one available. See? There are things to help me get away from desperation, so I should be happy, right?

Please don't fail me freelancing job, please don't. Or else...

Delusions and Nightmares

I just woke up from my 'nightmares.' yes, I'm blogging about my dreams now. Well for now, because my dreams today were kinda weird this time, and I know that dreams are ordinarily weird, but mine, weird weird, and pretty scary.

First, or the first dream series I guess, it's the first dream I dreamed on is about me and acting on a play. I've been in a play, but the dream looks a pretty hazy, but I could see myself acting my heart out and I had a co-artist that is one of the actors in ABS-CBN's Agua Bendita. Freakish yeah, this isn't the first time I dreamed on actors, but this time, I dreamed a hottie. Yeah. And then my feel good dream turned into a 'nightmare' when it shift to a world event (not sure if it's World Cup, but I know that it's a sports event) and something/someone attacked everyone in it. I even dreamed about this 'company' and a child of the owner killed, and other hazy dreams but I know for sure it's a dream series affected by the television I'm unconsciously hearing at the same time.

Next is *sigh* one of my 'Avatar dreams series.' Obsessing on Avatar these days really gives me weird dreams lately, sort of like I possess bending powers to save the world. Before I dreamed that I have earth and water manipulating powers and I really am trying to save the world from an alien invasion. WEll everyone dreams about being super hero. But this time, I dreamed that I need to hone my bending and that *ehem* Azula is attacking me.

Then here goes the 'nightmare' part. I dreamed that there is a group of vampires (curse you Twilight) who hunt for humans and took out some of their organs to be given to some people who pay them that are in need of organ transplant. I sure bet my remaining money in my pocket that this dream series are really caused by my incessant watching of ABS-CBN's Kung Tayo's Magkakalayo (ehermmm, yeah, I'm a Kapamilya these days, and the dreams are proof here), and my deepest hatred with Twilight. These two formed into a nightmare. I hate ABS-CBN and Twilight, and they exact their vengance on me: nightmare.

So back with my Vampire nightmare. They take out organs from humans, and humans are alive while it is being done, and this 'operation' is being done inside our home, which I dreamed is that it was a hospital. After the operation, while the human victim is still alive, he will be buried,at the guess what, at the back of our house, which by the way is a mini-forest in the making, and our mini dumpsite (well I guess even Nature is exacting vengance on me too? I'm one of it's supporter!). I only watched in horror one operation, about a kid with problems with his throat, and the vampires who perform the operation look familiar with me, or so I think. I didn't hear screaming sounds, for I know that they are trying to stop commotion, but I could feel myself freaking out.After the operation (which they performed with the use of their hands), one of them murmured something at the kid which I guess goes on like,"It'll be okay for a while," etc. Then it shift with my brother-in-law, which became one of the vampires (does it had to do with my deep remorse against him??) and then he's the one dumping the poor victim (a man I'm sure)at the back of our neighbor's home. Then I saw the boy went to the burial ground and was trying to dug out the man. I was wondering that he's trying to 'give the man some air' even though it was already 'useless.' Then I looked at my brother-in-law and he said that the man is no longer in need.Freaky.

Then, another dream shift, this time, I saw my sister in our house, and I felt like our home was gloomy that usual. Then I asked her why. She said that her baby was...*eherm* taken by the aswang. Then dream shift and I found myself in the company of my neighbors and they were having a feast (trust me, it has nothing to do with my lost niece). Then I stirred and woke up.

But what is peculiar is that I'm consciously aware that I'm witnessing these dream sequences. Especially the vampire part. I even knew that the vampire cult is doing it for a long time (in my dream time though). Until now I'm reeling from it, and I'm even planning of using this concept for my comic entry in a comics magazine. XD Yup, this is the part where I like dreams, I could use some of them as ideas for my writing comics.Well I hope people will freak out like I did.:)

Now back to my sleep, and dream again. I need to finish a commish from close friends. Any dream interpreter out there who might help me with decoding these dreams?

Reaction of the Day

Just this morning I went to a store to buy Chocnut. The storekeeper, which I have really no idea who she was, yet scarily knew me asked me a question:
storekeeper: Ikaw bang anak ni [insert name of my mom here]? (Are you the daughter of [insert name of my mom here]?
Me: Opo. [yes]
Storekeeper: Ikaw bang pangalawa?[ Are you the second child]
Me: Ah, hindi po...*pa-shy mode* Ako po ang panganay [Ah, no I'm not...I'm the eldest]
Storekeeper: *gasps* hindi nga? Kala ko yung nanganak na yung panganay (pertaining to my second sister) [For real? I thought the other one is the eldest.
Me: *pa-shy mode again*

Reactions that I always get from unsuspecting people. Hehe, the idea of being young is still in me.XD

The Search

*ehem* Intro.
So it official. After I’ve come to the conclusion that if I’m not gonna act like a normal homo sapiens, nothing will ever happen to me. Never. So I have to give up my delusions that somehow I could live like what some jerky girl protagonists from comic books do.I have decided that I should try to live the life of a normal human girl, I mean, woman.
Why am I doing this you ask?

Because I realized that if I want to get what I want in this world, I need to play the cards, that is, I live what customs normally dictates to its denizens. Because if not, I’ll stuck being a complete sucker in my own homeland. I will wither and die of loneliness, boredom, and poverty (this is pretty amusing, considering that the marginalize sector’s usually the ones saying this). I’ll be lucky if I live in rich countries, because they’d been through delineating people that won’t live to their standards. But unfortunately, I live in a third world country with a culture still stuck in the 1960’s (though this is being overshadowed with people using China phones and Ipods), I have no choice but to do this. But only for now, because after this, after I get what I want, I’ll be back from being the invisible geeky girl overthinking over mundane things possible.

I know this will be very hard for a girl who had stunted her woman growth for a long time (well 6 years is pretty long…), but if she must have to undergone massive make-over, head-to-toe, to get what she wants, then she must do what needs to be done.

Without further ado, I present to you the Ultimate Search for the Ultimate Boyfriend 2010©. A comprehensive search for that elusive Mr. Right. exclusively from Frustrated Freelancer Inc.’s CEO. *Insert Final Fantasy ”Game Over” theme here*

You can laugh at this sheer madness, but you have no choice that I’m doing this.

Frustrated Freelance Inc.’s SEO is in need of partnership with the opposite sex. She is looking for dynamic, unique, multi-tasking, individuals that possess’ exceptional skills in the art of wooing and ‘subduing’ special women (not retards, OKAY?).

The perks and privileges of the lucky(?) partner will get to receive:

• Specially made fan-arts of you from the SEO herself complete with special gifts during special occasions.
• Hand-made/commissioned costumes made by the SEO herself. Depending on the costume type, some of it will be under the possession of the SEO.
• Free home-baked goodies with a personal touch from the SEO (don’t worry, the SEO create goodies that passed BFAD standards and, if in such bizarre circumstance that the partner somehow suffered from stomachaches he will be attended personally by the SEO in the hospital).
• If the partner had shown excellence in his work, the SEO will give her a chance to have his own life/ or his own story (if he has one) immortalized in a one-shot manga that the SEO will create and will be sold at comic conventions or be submitted to an international manga contest. If, the said manga won a contest, 50% of the prize will be given to the partner. 
• If the partner is currently a student, the SEO will be his personal thesis and homework assistant, as well as his personal editor, except on math problems. If the partner currently works, the SEO will be his personal work assistant a.k.a. secretary. Of course this will be subjected for further deliberation.
• A chance to have a girlfriend that remotely looks like Heart Evangelista *insert huge barf here*. This doesn’t necessarily mean that the SEO acts and thinks like her (trust me, she doesn’t really acts and thinks like Heart), and this remark is based on what random 15+ persons told the SEO. You don’t have to like Heart E., it just that somehow the prospective boyfriend could have a girlfriend that can pass for a looker. ^_^

The job of the partner will be the following:
SEO’s personal driver, bodyguard, PA (alalay XD), assistant comic artist, art critic, literary editor, chef, personal fitness trainer, fashion/costume/props designer/assistant, fashion critic, guinea pig/taste tester of the SEO’s baked inventions, sales representative, and the official mascot of the SEO of her personal favorite anime characters (so if the SEO wants you to don into a Kyoya Hibari from Reborn! costume, you are oblige to comply. If the SEO wants the both of you to wear harajuku fashion, you will be obliged to abide. No worries, the SEO will see to it that you will never be forced into massive public humiliation during cosplay events ).

The qualifications are as follows.

• Male, four years and above older than the SEO. Since the SEO will be 22 years old this coming September, the partner will be 26 years old and above.

• As much as possible, must be of East Asian/American/European descent. With Filipino ancestry will be considered, though pure Filipino nationals and citizens will be disregarded.*

• Graduate of any Private or State Universities, with Bachelor (or Masters) degree on any course except VISUAL ARTS.**

• At least 5’7” in height. Tall and lanky but not gawky and clumsy.

• Intelligent, but not geeky/nerdy kind of intelligence.

• Must have a steady income higher than the SEO’s mother. Legality of the job will be under further observation. ***

• Possessed either a sports car or a motorbike complete with legal documents and a driver’s license. Most important must be a MENTALLY NORMAL RESPONSIBLE driver. Must send a copy of driver’s license together with your CV. The SEO will check for its authenticity.

• Owns his own unit/condo/house. Doesn’t live with his family especially with his mother (but respects his mother of course). Must live remotely from his family and first and second degree relatives.

• Owns a pet (dog, cat, or even exotic animals).

• Knows any kinds of self-defense, if owns a gun, must be a responsible gun owner. Send a copy of your gun certificate with your CV. The SEO will inspect its authenticity.

• Must be friendly, but not friendly in a sense that acts like a politician. Knows how to befriend SEO’s acquaintances and gets along with them very well but not to the extent of hanging out with them and invite them on “golf sessions”.

• With a high-sense of respect for women, but not to the extent he submits to them easily. Gender sensitive is a must-have for this job.

• Must be perfectly single. No strings attached, not married, annulled nor divorced. Must not be a single parent either.

• Must possess a hobby that the SEO can relate to (porn/hentai collecting is exempted).

• Doesn’t necessarily have to be an anime fan, but at least can respect and understand the SEO’s quirky hobby. But being a comics fan is a must.

• Must be dynamic, hardworking, and multi-tasking; have above average analytical skills, street-smart, articulated, open-minded, confident but not arrogant, and PATIENT to abide to every SEO’s whim.


*due to personal issues of the SEO with Filipino men, she clearly considers to not entertain their applications. Filipinos who do so will be rejected, posers will be apprehended, comprendo? REMEMBER THOUGH, THE SEO IS NOT A RACIST, SHE HAS JUST SOME PERSONAL ISSUES WITH FILIPINO MEN, BUT THIS SHOULD NOT BE CONSIDERED AS A RACIST REMARK. She respects any nationality, but not all nationality could pass her taste as a prospective boyfriend.
**because the SEO is an artist herself, she no longer wants to have personal relationships with artists, except for being friends.
***prospective applicants who are working under secret organizations or organized crime groups are highly welcomed. Exempted are those who work under drug syndicates, organ/human/child traffickers, pirates of intellectual properties, enemies of the state, and corrupt politicians.


Additional requirements:
Composition writing.
In less than 200 words, explain this passage in your own. Remember that your answer will greatly affect your application for the position:

“I think therefore I am.”

Interested applicants are requested to send their CV together with the composition, their copy of SAL and ITR, full body 4r photos, and the remaining requirements to Blue_horizon39@hotmail.com. Posers, jerks, and good-for-nothing individuals will not be entertained. No placement fees to be paid. Beware of scammers and illegal recruiters.

The lucky guy will receive a telegram. Personalized by the SEO of course. 

*Note*
Personal friends,former classmates, and first-level relatives of personal friends will not be entertained. The SEO will eliminate any applications from these people. Posers will be apprehended, friendship ties will be severed and any personal contacts will be removed from the SEO’s life.

My Loveless Lovelife

Forgive my crappy title. Yes, it sounded too desperate, but what the heck, this is my blog anyway, so spare me with your troll dramas. I don't need them for now.

I nearing 22, but I still proclaim myself as 17, and trust me, if I don myself in high school uniform and tell everyone I meet I'm 17, no one will raise an eyebrow.
Anyway, in four months, I'll be hitting 22. I'm no longer high school young, I'm young, yes, but older, yet I still think like a high schooler. But what the heck. Since highs chool I still lack what most people will tell you the most important thing you must have- lovelife.

Yes my dear ladies and gentlemen, I'm a pathetic anti-social homo sapiens living during my high school days as a single human being. A.k.a, loveless. But trust me, I have a fair share of crushes during the times I perking up with pheromone,but no normal human being will ever believe I drooled myself over those kind of guys.

Because I prefer non-realistic guys over real ones. For real.

I know I know it's not healthy. It's not socially healthy for a young lass like me, because it leads to future mental illnesses. But as far as I can see, I'm still inside the border of the concept of normalcy and therefore, I'm not that completely nuts. But yes I admit, I like the hunky bishonens peppering the anime world over those Starstudio actors my classmates are gaga over. Tsk. Tsk. Pathetic little me.

And I even believed they're the most perfect guys every girl should have. So I drone myself over posters and stickers that have their pictures of them. If normal girls got F4 posters, I have Li Shaoran and Kousuke Sagara beside my bed. I was happy everytime I see them on tv, wishing that I could be the girl they're always saving, or always at their side. I'm a fangirl, yes,and an anime fangirl for that matter.
And because of that I didn't took care of myself during those time I should be practicing to become a future woman. That's why until now, I'm still acting young. And that's why I still look young, because I deliberately stunted my growth into womanhood, for the sake of non-existent beings that doesn't even know me.

That's why I got kept myself single, and somehow I'm happy about it. Since I'm a dork, no guys courted me (good grief!), and if someone did, I'll run into a cliff and die. No not really, but shun him down and forget he ever existed (my bestfriend mentioned that someone I personally know went to their school service and was looking for me, but since my bestfriend is maldita and the hapless boy didn't passed to her standard as high as mine, she shut the guy away. hahah).

Even at college, I'm still the ultimate geeky anime girl. But during second semester, for the first time in my life, I got myself a bunch of lunatics like me(hahah, peace guys I love you really) that made me not that really different. They're unique, smart, happy-go-lucky, crazy, but great girls (and gays for the other two), and because of them, I started to come out of my cave and, I found that I am a human being that needs to have a social life. I may not have love life, I got myself a social life. And I'm still loving it. :D

But even if I got a barkada, I still don't have a partner, a.k.a boyfriend.
I will admit that I was kinda sad that I was never seen as more of a friend by my guy classmates, I mean what girl wouldn't like to be liked by the opposite sex (except for lesbians though)? I went through that phase, but I even though I'm nearing into adulthood, I'm not ready to become a woman. Even my best friends are telling me to wear this and that, wear make-up and act like a normal woman, there was even a point I undergone make-over just to justify their claim that I was "pretty" *gasp*, but I still spring back into that nerdy, geeky me.

But when third year came, someone approached me to have lunch with him. A lunch! I consider it the nearest possible thing a guy could do just to show he's interested in me. But the jerk didn't approached me the next day. I don't why, maybe because he found out how dorky and geeky I am, so he no longer talked to me. Tut oh well.
At least someone GOT interested to talk to me to have lunch.

And then graduation, then working phase. During these time that someone really got the guts (though not totally)to show his feelings for me. Mushy,yes. But for a jerk-ass like me, it's disgusting. Utterly, purely disgusting. he's lucky he's my friend because if he's some run-of-the-mill guy, he will feel the pain I could have inflicted on him because he acted like a jerk in front of me (technically he profess his love in the phone and it's one of my pet peeves; more of this soon), but for the sake of peace and friendship and goodwill, I resisted to become a bitch. I resisted the need to speak my mind because of his love *gagged myself*. And I resisted the force in me to act stupid.

For the sake of peace and friendship and goodwill, I will no longer delve into this short stint but explosive part of my loveless love life.

And there goes the short story of my loveless love life. My 22nd birthday will come, and somehow before or after it, I already have a partner I could lug with me at anime conventions. And someone who could stick with me for a long time.

Next post: The Ultimate Search for the Ultimate Boyfriend 2010: A comprehensive search for the right(?) candidate for this dateless, senseless, and nerdy gal.

I'm Serving The Lord (Well...)

Just got from church. Five minutes past four, there was a loud grumble, and then a flash, and then something crumbled. Then I turned around to see the debris falling from the church's left side, coming up from the roof. The head sacristan went to see the debris and found that almost half of the roof's design were terrible broken.
Some sort of premonition? Well, I leave it to the fundamentalists.

So, again it's Sunday, where I serve in our church as in charge of the slide show. I have to flash into the screen the words the people should say, and also to post the songs so that they could follow it. I know how there are issues regarding with singing in Catholic churches wherein Evangelical churches have all of their people singing at the top of their lungs while in Catholic churches, the only people who sang is the choir. That's not the issue for now.

And again it's Sunday, where I always go wrong putting those slides into the screen. I 'work' as the computer/slide controller, or is that what you call it? But heck, it's almost five weeks, FIVE weeks, and I still can't do my job right. Crap.

i don't know why I still can't make that slide go smoothly, with less (or even better none) mistakes putting them in order. Why is it whenever I do some easy tasks my head always pops so many mundane things? And why am I always thinking so many things during times I shouldn't? Geez...terrible, terrible.

Will meditation helps? Or how about yoga? Is there some way I could do to stop overthinking? Is it even a disorder? A mental sickness?

I need a day, just a day, where my head will completely go blank.

But I guess that day will be the day I'll be dead.

Ciao!

New layout!

Well, I know I like art, but I still suck at designing...boohoo.
At least it isn't gloomy anymore.

As I hate Crappy Pinoy Media

I'm currently planning on making an entry for the coming Kodansha International manga contest, and I really really want to win whatever places in there (Second or Third will bring me already to tears and eternal happiness if it would happen), and now I'm doing all that I can just to make my work appreciated by Japanese publishers.

So I'm now looking for different references to forge this manga into fruition. I won't delve into the details, as it might spoil the momentum. But aside from looking for decent, relevant, sensible references, I found something rather disturbing:

There are no decent, relevant, sensible references available in this country. If they do, you must sacrifice half of your body just to get those.

From books to radios, to televisions, everyday they are making effing mistakes about our Philippine myths. Well I know I sound generalizing everything, but how can you say that these people behind media are doing the right thing in portraying our mythological creatures?

Take this for example:
Where in the wild world of sports could you see in television Philippine fairies inspired by LOTR's elves??? Where in the wild world could you see Philippine fairies wearing MEDIEVAL CLOTHING waaay back in the DARK AGES??? And they keep on pimping in their commercial plugs that they are ORIGINAL PINOY MADE fantaseryes?!

Tagalog Romance pocketbooks are guilty as charge.

I never liked reading Tagalog pocketbooks, given their penchant in overusing the friggin STEREOTYPICAL CINDERELLA COMPLEX THEME they so incorporate in every releases they churn out from their publishing company. I remember a writer friend who tried to send a manuscript to them, and even though they liked her story, it didn't passed their MUST-BE A CINDERELLA-CLONE STORY taste. And the worst these books ever do is creating and making STEREOTYPES that they thought that even though the Filipinos reading it can be passed as literates, they are stuffing them with this silly belief that "Filipinos are dumb,therefore we must make our stories so easy to read and understand with their simpletonic minds. I'll choose chick lits over them. And I don't give a damn if you accuse me of a bourgeois colonial mental and I'll give one thousand reasons why Philippine media sucks and continues on being sucker for giving us sucking entertainment we don't deserve.

Back to Tagalog pocketbooks. After I sworn an oath not to read them until I hit 65 when I was in highschool, I saw myself in college asking for my friend to lent me her copies of pockebooks. And even though I tried,I really tried to finish them one day at a time, my brain can't take anymore the 'animosity' their themes give to me. The poor lass from the province, check. The uber-gorgeous, handsome than Brad Pitt (there is even a story wherein the main guy was Tom Hanks look alike, for real! Not that I hate Tom Hanks, but I can't believe he could pass for a matinee idol?O_o) ultra-mega rich guy? Check. A bitchier-than-bithch third party? Check. And a stereotypical love and hate relationship? Double-check. See? And they come in different titles, with different taglines, and different characters. But with that same old formula waaaaay back when Tagalog pocketbooks make their first boom.

(I like you to give me a very good Tagalog pocketbook that stay away from this stereotype, but I'll never take away my animosity from these books because they are showing every time how wimpy,girly and a sorry loser Filipinas are, and they really really need men in shining armor because that's what Filipinas are;wimpy, girly and a sorry loser.)

And that what's the general Pinoy media in general are doing and continuing instilling in our minds- we are wimpy,stereotypicals, and sorry losers, therefore we deserve to be given bullshits for entertainment.

And I hate the Philippine Media.

Jeepney Story Prelude: Puff Rice

God it’s so good to be back in my blog. And for a fresh new post, I’ll give you my jeepney story. Yes, I’ll give updates of my everyday jeepney story, as much as I hate jeepney drivers, I’ll write as much stories about them. Not that they’ll read this blog for all I care. Anyway,

Yesterday as I was on my jeepney ride home, eating with my all-time favorite puff rice (yes honey. I’m nearing twenty-two and those childhood sweets still gives me happiness in my almost adult journey to boredom), a girl in front of me was looking at me intently. I don’t why at first, but then it hit me- she’s looking not at me, but from what I am eating.

Then when she notices that I was looking at her too, she turned her look away.

Then she stares at me again, and this time, I didn’t looked at her, but I still feel she’s looking at me.

A feeling of bully-wannabe inside me crept, and as I was munching my third puff ball, I looked at her, and the poor girl buried her head between her sister’s lap. I can sense her defeat. Yes I’m evil and I’m hungry. Her sister sensed it too, she just smiled in amusement(?) over her sister's dilemma.

Sorry sweetie. This ‘woman’ (she’s just pretending to be one) in front of you will never give in to your desire, even if you’re cute (which *ehem* by the way in respect to your mom, you’re not that really cute), she won’t give you a piece of her puff rice.
Ever forget what old people used to say to kids like you?

Don’t accept things from strangers (and don’t ask anything from strangers too, even if you’re just staring at me).

Hindi mo ako makukuha sa tingin.

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I'm planning of making a separate blog related to this topic sometime. It's something one those annoying traits we Filipinos (or the Filipinos; I still see myself a foreigner in this country, with the way I see and act things, I'm definitely no 'Filipino' in any acceptable sense.