Off to Freelancing Start

I'm desperate. Being jobless for eight months is slowly deteriorating my remaining sane brain cells for future stressful moments use. Being a bummer wasting her time away is NEVER EVER HEALTHY. I do admit that I love lazing around,taking "power naps" with a span of two hours and sleeping at ten hours maximum everyday, and loving it. But that was before, when I go to school and during my very short job stint.

But this time, it's different. Realization just hit me these past few months being jobless that being lazy really cannot help you, A LOT. And it's taking its toll on my remaining sanity, even though by nature I'm a weird person with a rather unstabilized way of thinking. These past few months I'm starting to have anxiety disorder symptoms (crying by myself, overthinking, self-pitying all the shit), and I'm having these feelings that if I don't find a job this coming week, I'll be of to the nearest fucked-up Philippine mental institution. I'm crazy, I'm weird, but I'm still sane enough to know that the last thing you like to happen in your life is to be put to jail or to be put in a mental hospital in the Philippines, and trust me, being poor in this country is better than being stuck in those two "institutions."

Call me a weirdo, but being stressed is what I love. I do. I may had been a slacker posing as a smart-ass during my college days, but nothing makes me happy than being stressed by a looming deadline, angry teachers murdering your term papers, and praying every minute before the exams that you pass it better that most of the students. I'm crazy over stress and deadlines, I hate them when they make me dizzy and stupid but I love them because they are the ones that are reminding me that no matter how my mom accuses me of being a prospective Autistic patient, I could still be a mentally capable useful person for my society.

That's why I'm missing stress and deadlines so much, and I'm missing them SO MUCH THAT IN A FEW WEEKS AND IF I STILL DON'T HAVE A JOB I'LL BE TAKING SUICIDE AS THE LAST OPTION TO STOP THIS MONOTONOUS LIFE.

Kidding, of course I'll not go suicidal mode, but BEING JOBLESS IS MAKING ME CRAZY!!!!

I'm already branded as crazy, but I don't want to further emphasize on it. Maybe I'm starting to get desperate. Desperate, yes. And somehow, drawing my webcomics and blogging is helping somehow to loosen myself a bit.

This shouldn't go on. I must do something to get that elusive job.So I really need to survive on this freelancing gig. I never expected this to be so hard, trying to make a name in this industry is already a pain, more if the actual prospective job came. But being a person who loves stress and deadline, freelancing is definitely for me. I need to pimp my online profiles here and there, and try to get prospective clients from personal friends, if there are any one available. See? There are things to help me get away from desperation, so I should be happy, right?

Please don't fail me freelancing job, please don't. Or else...