The Search

*ehem* Intro.
So it official. After I’ve come to the conclusion that if I’m not gonna act like a normal homo sapiens, nothing will ever happen to me. Never. So I have to give up my delusions that somehow I could live like what some jerky girl protagonists from comic books do.I have decided that I should try to live the life of a normal human girl, I mean, woman.
Why am I doing this you ask?

Because I realized that if I want to get what I want in this world, I need to play the cards, that is, I live what customs normally dictates to its denizens. Because if not, I’ll stuck being a complete sucker in my own homeland. I will wither and die of loneliness, boredom, and poverty (this is pretty amusing, considering that the marginalize sector’s usually the ones saying this). I’ll be lucky if I live in rich countries, because they’d been through delineating people that won’t live to their standards. But unfortunately, I live in a third world country with a culture still stuck in the 1960’s (though this is being overshadowed with people using China phones and Ipods), I have no choice but to do this. But only for now, because after this, after I get what I want, I’ll be back from being the invisible geeky girl overthinking over mundane things possible.

I know this will be very hard for a girl who had stunted her woman growth for a long time (well 6 years is pretty long…), but if she must have to undergone massive make-over, head-to-toe, to get what she wants, then she must do what needs to be done.

Without further ado, I present to you the Ultimate Search for the Ultimate Boyfriend 2010©. A comprehensive search for that elusive Mr. Right. exclusively from Frustrated Freelancer Inc.’s CEO. *Insert Final Fantasy ”Game Over” theme here*

You can laugh at this sheer madness, but you have no choice that I’m doing this.

Frustrated Freelance Inc.’s SEO is in need of partnership with the opposite sex. She is looking for dynamic, unique, multi-tasking, individuals that possess’ exceptional skills in the art of wooing and ‘subduing’ special women (not retards, OKAY?).

The perks and privileges of the lucky(?) partner will get to receive:

• Specially made fan-arts of you from the SEO herself complete with special gifts during special occasions.
• Hand-made/commissioned costumes made by the SEO herself. Depending on the costume type, some of it will be under the possession of the SEO.
• Free home-baked goodies with a personal touch from the SEO (don’t worry, the SEO create goodies that passed BFAD standards and, if in such bizarre circumstance that the partner somehow suffered from stomachaches he will be attended personally by the SEO in the hospital).
• If the partner had shown excellence in his work, the SEO will give her a chance to have his own life/ or his own story (if he has one) immortalized in a one-shot manga that the SEO will create and will be sold at comic conventions or be submitted to an international manga contest. If, the said manga won a contest, 50% of the prize will be given to the partner. 
• If the partner is currently a student, the SEO will be his personal thesis and homework assistant, as well as his personal editor, except on math problems. If the partner currently works, the SEO will be his personal work assistant a.k.a. secretary. Of course this will be subjected for further deliberation.
• A chance to have a girlfriend that remotely looks like Heart Evangelista *insert huge barf here*. This doesn’t necessarily mean that the SEO acts and thinks like her (trust me, she doesn’t really acts and thinks like Heart), and this remark is based on what random 15+ persons told the SEO. You don’t have to like Heart E., it just that somehow the prospective boyfriend could have a girlfriend that can pass for a looker. ^_^

The job of the partner will be the following:
SEO’s personal driver, bodyguard, PA (alalay XD), assistant comic artist, art critic, literary editor, chef, personal fitness trainer, fashion/costume/props designer/assistant, fashion critic, guinea pig/taste tester of the SEO’s baked inventions, sales representative, and the official mascot of the SEO of her personal favorite anime characters (so if the SEO wants you to don into a Kyoya Hibari from Reborn! costume, you are oblige to comply. If the SEO wants the both of you to wear harajuku fashion, you will be obliged to abide. No worries, the SEO will see to it that you will never be forced into massive public humiliation during cosplay events ).

The qualifications are as follows.

• Male, four years and above older than the SEO. Since the SEO will be 22 years old this coming September, the partner will be 26 years old and above.

• As much as possible, must be of East Asian/American/European descent. With Filipino ancestry will be considered, though pure Filipino nationals and citizens will be disregarded.*

• Graduate of any Private or State Universities, with Bachelor (or Masters) degree on any course except VISUAL ARTS.**

• At least 5’7” in height. Tall and lanky but not gawky and clumsy.

• Intelligent, but not geeky/nerdy kind of intelligence.

• Must have a steady income higher than the SEO’s mother. Legality of the job will be under further observation. ***

• Possessed either a sports car or a motorbike complete with legal documents and a driver’s license. Most important must be a MENTALLY NORMAL RESPONSIBLE driver. Must send a copy of driver’s license together with your CV. The SEO will check for its authenticity.

• Owns his own unit/condo/house. Doesn’t live with his family especially with his mother (but respects his mother of course). Must live remotely from his family and first and second degree relatives.

• Owns a pet (dog, cat, or even exotic animals).

• Knows any kinds of self-defense, if owns a gun, must be a responsible gun owner. Send a copy of your gun certificate with your CV. The SEO will inspect its authenticity.

• Must be friendly, but not friendly in a sense that acts like a politician. Knows how to befriend SEO’s acquaintances and gets along with them very well but not to the extent of hanging out with them and invite them on “golf sessions”.

• With a high-sense of respect for women, but not to the extent he submits to them easily. Gender sensitive is a must-have for this job.

• Must be perfectly single. No strings attached, not married, annulled nor divorced. Must not be a single parent either.

• Must possess a hobby that the SEO can relate to (porn/hentai collecting is exempted).

• Doesn’t necessarily have to be an anime fan, but at least can respect and understand the SEO’s quirky hobby. But being a comics fan is a must.

• Must be dynamic, hardworking, and multi-tasking; have above average analytical skills, street-smart, articulated, open-minded, confident but not arrogant, and PATIENT to abide to every SEO’s whim.


*due to personal issues of the SEO with Filipino men, she clearly considers to not entertain their applications. Filipinos who do so will be rejected, posers will be apprehended, comprendo? REMEMBER THOUGH, THE SEO IS NOT A RACIST, SHE HAS JUST SOME PERSONAL ISSUES WITH FILIPINO MEN, BUT THIS SHOULD NOT BE CONSIDERED AS A RACIST REMARK. She respects any nationality, but not all nationality could pass her taste as a prospective boyfriend.
**because the SEO is an artist herself, she no longer wants to have personal relationships with artists, except for being friends.
***prospective applicants who are working under secret organizations or organized crime groups are highly welcomed. Exempted are those who work under drug syndicates, organ/human/child traffickers, pirates of intellectual properties, enemies of the state, and corrupt politicians.


Additional requirements:
Composition writing.
In less than 200 words, explain this passage in your own. Remember that your answer will greatly affect your application for the position:

“I think therefore I am.”

Interested applicants are requested to send their CV together with the composition, their copy of SAL and ITR, full body 4r photos, and the remaining requirements to Blue_horizon39@hotmail.com. Posers, jerks, and good-for-nothing individuals will not be entertained. No placement fees to be paid. Beware of scammers and illegal recruiters.

The lucky guy will receive a telegram. Personalized by the SEO of course. 

*Note*
Personal friends,former classmates, and first-level relatives of personal friends will not be entertained. The SEO will eliminate any applications from these people. Posers will be apprehended, friendship ties will be severed and any personal contacts will be removed from the SEO’s life.